Yesterday I had a breakdown. I really wanted to quit life because I seem to suck at it lately.
As we work on getting to Korea the thing that takes the longest is the fingerprint process that is sent to the FBI where they do a background check. It can take up to 12 weeks. We are five weeks in. Three weeks ago I received notice that my payment couldn't be accepted, so I resubmitted it. Yesterday I received a packet saying my fingerprints were not clear enough to be read. The ironic thing about that is when I did my fingerprinting the man did two cards, but in both of them he just did a straight press, not a roll. After leaving I reread my directions to ensure that I had done it right, and it specified that I must have them pressed and rolled. So I went back. That means I submitted THREE cards with my fingerprints on them. THREE!
Adam submitted two, one pressed and one rolled. His cleared just fine.
We can't continue the process until the fingerprint results come back, so we're waiting again. I keep reciting the serenity prayer (God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference). I know I can't control this. I know worrying and stressing about it will only cause me unnecessary anxiety. For those of you not yet familiar with my personality I'm a planner, I like to be organized and able to move through the paces of things. Despite my inability to successfully compute mathematical equations I am very much a formula, process girl. Maybe I'm more scientific theory. I become frustrated (yes, you will realise this happens a lot because it's not true to life) when I plug in all the things I'm supposed to do and don't yield my desired result in the prescribed amount of time. I know, I should be grateful it only took five weeks for them to tell me instead of the full twelve.
Should, should, should. We tell our clients that it's not healthy to "should" all over yourself. Yeah, I'm totally guilty of that right now. Sitting in a steaming pile of should.
Or jelly beans (for those of you have seen "Hop" which Adam and I did last night, and we liked it).
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Cool that you have learned to recongize your own strengths and weakness. We are only human ,some of us have more control issues than others.(yes I included myself in that statement) LIfe is about the journey... Enjoy the small moments along the way.. I love you ...
ReplyDelete... So, your personality (the planning thing) sounds _really_ familiar ... my wife is the same way.
ReplyDeleteI know this won't help much, but I'm insane so I'll try anyway: hang in there, no biggie ... it'll come. Of course, I'm a month late on this ... sorry.