Mouthbreather's Anonymous

Bless the soul of my Father, he is not a bad man by any means. He does, however, possess the uncanny knack of describing people using their least attractive qualities. Even when he attempts to describe people in a flattering way it comes across as an insult.

One of his rather ingenious verbal inventions is referring to "stupid-looking" people as "mouthbreathers." The term is rather self-explanatory. For a simple visual cue sort back only so far as John Heder's unforgettable performance as Napoleon Dynamite. Nappy-D (as Jared Hess, creator of "Napoleon Dynamite" refers to the main character)  is a notorious mouthbreather.

Of late I have been afflicted with a rather severe headcold, which renders me incapable of inhaling or exhaling through my nasal passages. Thus I am left to breathe through the only remaining respiratory orifice--my mouth. Is it fair to claim that I feel less intelligent for having to respire through my mouth? Be it ridiculous it is, nevertheless, true. I cannot help but to feel more sluggish in thought, as though my synapses are layered in unforgiving mucus that deteriorates cognitive thought.

I join the intellectually indigent throng. A mouthbreather I am.