Saturday, December 5, 2009

Medicated Powder

I went to visit my older sister not too long ago. Usually when I travel I have all of my mini-toiletries together in a one gallon Ziploc bag (thank you various terrorists for downsizing my luggage--it's now much easier to manage, and has reduced my number of spills). But when I go to my sister's I take advantage of the hospitality borrowing toothpaste, shampoo, Q-tips, etc, etc.

As I stepped from the shower and commenced my preparations for getting ready I began looking for some Baby Powder (to be fair, I use the variety of cornstarch, not as fine and a little more sticktoitiveness). Now, for those of you who do not have thighs that rub together, or a decolletage that sags together as mine so unfortunately does (my sincerest and most heartfelt apologies if you do) you will likely not understand the necessity of such a thing. Let's just say it helps everything to keep moving smoothly and reduces sticky friction when moving about.

Well the only bottle I could find was of an orange variety which read "Medicated Powder." I opened the top, shook some into my hand, from my basic analysis it appeared to be what I was looking for, though it had that hint of Menthol scent to it. I thought it was kind of minty and fresh. Routinely I fluffed and patted the requisite areas and moved on with my get-ready routine.

I was waiting for the rest of the women to ready themselves for departure when I felt the beginning of a strange, cool sensation. At first I thought it was just cold, then I realised the only place I felt cold was between my legs. Had I unwittingly peed my pants? I looked down. No telling dark spot. Again the sensation swept over my nether regions. What was happening to me? I kept feeling these cooling bursts, so cool they were almost burning and uncomfortable. Truly, what had happened to me in the last hour to cause this?

Without warning or cause it dawned on me. Medicated powder. Menthol. Ah. The mystery was solved, but there remained the question of what to do. Should I strip my clothes from the waist down and try to rinse it off? If I tried wiping would it get spread to other areas? This lead to imagining further reaching sensations. It stopped me cold. No, no. I would leave it and pray that as the day wore on the sensations would subside.

From now on when I go to my sister's I still don't bring my own powder, I'll just remember to raid the baby's room where the mild stuff is kept.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Aging with Grace

Today I witnessed something I will not soon forget while shopping at Walmart with Jamie. We were near, what I believe is termed, the "personal care" section when we encountered two women.

These women appeared to be rather advanced in age, and were utilising the wonderful electric carts provided to those customers who need assistance. These dear ladies also appeared to require the assistance of dentures, though neither was making good on that option this afternoon.

One muu-muu clad cart driver was still in an aisle, while the other had moved into the mainstream, but was stopped. The woman parked in the aisle was repeating the word, "Tampons! Tampons" very loudly. However, because of her lack of teeth she was unable to correctly articulate the word. Therefore, it came across as more of a loudly uttered, "Pampons! Pampons!" Perhaps the crossover between diapers and tampons? Her counterpart finally acknowledged her cross-aisle yodel and responded, "I don' wan'o wase my money on those righ' now."

With a 42 pack of Poise already in her own cart, the concerned friend nodded, and the pair wheeled on.

Completely unrelated post script: I passed by the new site for "Sweet Basil" again today. What is Sweet Basil you might ask? Cedar City's very own THAI Restaurant! Who's excited? I'M EXCITED! Oh yes I am!!!

Monday, November 30, 2009

Home for the Holidays

I had my first Thanksgiving home after being gone the last two during the mission. It was a lot of things I remembered--the family, the noise, the delicious food--and a few things I didn't want to remember. The tension, the arguing, the general lack of familial spirit. Or, perhaps, the prevailing one. Jamie and I ditched out early to head to Nephi where we spent the rest of the holiday weekend.

I mostly hung out with Natasha and the kids--went to the craft fair, met Santa (for Isaac's first time), watched "Horton Hears a Who" more times than I care to recollect (but the proof is in the pudding, I actually still like the movie!), and was able to go to the Manti Temple with Natasha for my first time. That part was truly memorable and very neat.

Jamie and I drove home late Sunday afternoon. I was shocked by the constant stream of northbound traffic. It was incessant. At some points we could tell the cars weren't even driving the speed limit because they couldn't for lack of space.

During our stay in Casa de Dansie in Nephi we received communique that we would be putting up the Christmas tree Monday night. I was surprised and, surprisingly, not happy about the news. But I tried today to change my attitude, and was even looking forward to the meat rolls, the Christmas music blaring, the assembling of the fake tree, stringing of the lights, etc.

I think the part that people leave out about the "absence makes the heart grow fonder" is that absence also alters the fondness of memories, dismisses the bad, hyperbolizes the good, and works best when one is still absent.

Lately I just get the feeling that everyone keeps saying they're so glad I'm back or here, but I don't feel wanted here. Not that I blame anyone, I don't think I'm making myself the most affable company. So now it's on to the next step, still figuring out what to do with my life.