So...finals this year has been harder than any other year in the history of ever. I'm not sure why, exactly. I mean, four years ago this coming May I was coping with the news that my best friend was dating my exboyfriend of a week, and that she was going to meet his parents. That seems harder. Perhaps it's being away from the rigor of academic life, since the mish was the first break I've taken from education since Pre-school. It might also have to do with being divided in mind as I have someone who is much more interesting than any book or paper in my life, now.
But the weirdest part was after I turned in my last paper (final grades were posted today, two As, three A-s for a semester GPA of 3.83, WOOT!), the stress didn't end like it always has. Instead, it multiplied exponentially. Things went haywire at work (see previous post), and then there was this inexplicable weirdness between Adam and me.
Tonight, as I was I visiting with a dear friend in Kentucky who was up WAY past her bedtime (I love you Rata Stevens Robinette!), and I was highlighting all of Adam's amazing qualities I realised something. I've been taking advantage of him. I've been demanding, and rude, and been treating him downright terribly. I felt (and feel) awful. He's had to cope with people treating him this way his whole life, and now he has been getting it from me, too! After a good conversation we came to the conclusion that neither of us have been in the best of places lately, and now that we've identified the problem we know what to do.
And, amazingly, most of the icky feeling went away. Especially when, because he really is phenomenal, he says to me, "Don't worry, you're not getting rid of me that easily." Oh I love him.
Sidenote: I also realised how much I completely depend on my bestie, Bethany, to be my moral center and guide. She's been in the Dominican Republic for five days and will be gone for five more, and I'm not quite sure what I'll do without her! I love you, b!
The Gift of an Expressive Father
1 week ago