Tuesday, March 16, 2010


I think most people in this world, myself included, seek advice. Sometimes we find it in unexpected or even strange places.

I distinctly recall while serving as a missionary for my church being extremely distraught about something, and just praying in my heart to God, asking Him how I was supposed to continue. While driving down one of the narrow highways I saw the marquee of a smoke shop. The only word glaring from the middle of the sign with the flashing arrow was "BELIEVE," and in that moment, my soul was calmed.

However, there are some places where I do not think advice or words of encouragement are very appropriate. Allow me to share one such recent experience.

A while ago I received a sample pack of Playtex Sport tampons. They seemed to have a better feel, so I purchased a box the next time I needed some. One day, while doing my business during that specific time when such accouterments are requisite I noticed writing on the wrapper of the tampon. Being a curious person I picked it up and read, "Do your best!" I could not help but laugh. Some wrappers contained two sayings (don't worry, I didn't ruin the surprise and read them all in a single sitting, I allowed myself to receive these little nuggets one at a time). I was fortunate enough to have bestowed upon me, "Make your best good enough!" "Push harder next time!"

Really? Truly? Were these things printed on my tampon label? Now, in a different context these could be motivating--say in a sporting situation. As it was, my mind first jumped to the task at hand, applied the saying, and laughed so hard a little bit of pee came out.

So the next time you feel like you could use more encouragement and positive motivation in your life, just grab a box of Playtex Sport and let the building up begin.

Random Happenings

To explain my prolonged absence I could claim busyness. Afterall, in the last three weeks my parents put their house up for sale (some of you may wonder why that affects me, let it be known I am a slovenly leech who still resides in their basement, therefore, my house is up for sale as well), I found out I'M GOING TO LONDON!!! (only 15 days, but it's better than nothing, right?), and I started a third part-time job (love what I do, even though it's intense--I'm working in a residential treatment center for substance abuse).

However, I've learned from treatment language that this would be simple denial, and I need to own that I've just been putting off getting on here. I'm in a much better place now than I have been for a while, and it feels really good. The jobs are all good, and I'm enjoying keeping busy (no, I don't feel like there is extra money because it's all been usurped by the fulfillment of a life-long dream--LONDON!).

I'm not quite sure what the future will bring, but that's ok. Life's meant to be lived one day at a time. I'll do my best to plan, and figure out the rest as it happens.

As for something humorous--or perhaps disturbing--I was working in a Kindergarten classroom today with children who were writing about what a Leprechaun would do if the child found one. A little boy wrote, "he trikd me 38 tims." As I was mounting their writings on construction paper for display a boy sitting to my right began a monologue rather reminiscent of the one Syndrome in "The Incredibles" begins on--about ruling the world. It was also rather Pinky and the Brain-esque. So I asked him,

"Jim [name has been changed] how do you plan to rule the world?"

"I'm going to destroy someone?"

"Destroy someone?"

"Yes, destroy someone."

"Destroying is not good, people won't like you if you destroy someone."

"I only have to destroy one person, and he lives in space."

"Oh? Who lives in space, Jim?"


"You're going to destroy God?"

"Yes. I'm going to destroy God and then I'll rule the world."

I am a firm believer that every person is born with the Light of Christ and has intrinsic abilities to sense good from bad, right from wrong, and all that, but there is something seriously amiss with this child. It doesn't help that he has pale, pale skin, and flaming red hair (if I wanted to exaggerate I would also claim that he had yellow eyes, like the bully from "The Christmas Story.").