Sunday, February 27, 2011

All the...STUFF

I am a fairly simple person. I have fairly simple tastes. I don't generally ask for much, but when I do it has a tendency to be kind of "big." With my wedding I don't want "big"--I never have. I want it simple, clean-looking, and fun.

I always thought wedding planning was stressful because of all the stuff people wanted. And when it comes to wedding there is lots of stuff. Flowers, cake, music, place, centerpieces, tablecloths, photographers, dress, people, decorations, book, tables, backdrops, food, favors, gifts, announcements, postage, addresses, fittings, colors, shoes, flatware, rings, moving...and I've only listed the teensiest beginnings of it all. There is also all the stuff surrounding weddings, like registering for gifts. Well to register for things you need to know what you want. In order to know what you want you should also know what you have. And then it's just a craps shoot to see if anyone actually buys or puts money on all the things you now have your heart set on owning.

Not to mention all the additional get-togethers. The bridal showers--having to put together guest lists for that, deciding what dates work, what kind of shower I'd like to have--the wedding brunch/luncheon. Finding a place, selecting who gets to come, and deciding on food for all of that, too.

When I said: no cake, no luncheon, no first dance I thought I was simplifying my life. Now I see why people do these things. Discounting the obvious "because they want to" they do it out of pressure. As soon as you go against the norm and say you want something different people go berzerk. "But you have to!" "It's part of getting married!" "You'll regret it if you don't!" "It's something I always wish I would have done!" "You only get to do this once!" "You should have everything you want!" "Sometimes you have to splurge a little!"

Seriously? Seriously. SERIOUSLY? Yup. Seriously.

I really am beyond thrilled, in fact I spent a while the other night trying to get the right combination of elated euphoric ecstatic blissful wonderous words to describe how I feel about Adam and marrying him, and they just aren't there. But I'm not thrilled because of the flowers or cake or announcements or pictures or centerpieces or backdrops or any of that. I'm thrilled to be joining my life to his, to starting on this new journey together, and I want to enjoy that.

So for now, for now I am sick of the stuff. I just want to be happy (and trust me, I'm pretty ridiculously happy--b had me describe it in a unit of measurement a while back and I believe my response was something to the effect of several thousand million gigatons excited). Kind of the reverse "Bride-zilla" right? I don't want it all, and all just the way I want it. I just want to be left alone.


  1. I'm so freaking happy for you! And seriously, way to tell everybody what's what. It's your day, you're in charge, and what you say goes. Cakes are overrated. My sister had her fantasy cake and it fell over halfway through the ceremony. But she was so blissfully happy that she didn't care... much. ;)

    To be honest I'm really bored with all the wedding traditions. It's partly because I'm a jaded mess, and partly because I've edited what must be thousands of wedding pictures, but it's mainly because I think that the best traditions are the ones you make up yourself. Your marriage isn't going to be like anyone else's, why should your wedding copy anyone else's? I mean, unless you want it to. You know what I mean. It's all about you and Adam.

    Anywho, it will be a fantastic day no matter what traditions you do, or don't decide to follow.

  2. Your marriage should be the start of your traditions within the Family that your creating.. Life is too short, there will be many obstacles to overcome but your wedding day should be the Celebration of your union for all time and eternity.. Dont sweat the small stuff that matters only a short time.. I love you girl, I'm so freaking happy for you.. and the Chelsea I know does it her way... Sending you all my love from Kentucky..

  3. I feel the exact same way about all the marriage stuff. It's too complicated and I just want to focus on being with the man I love forever. So, Steve and I are going to elope. Yay!

  4. Chelsea! I have the hardest time commenting on ur blog for some reason but let me first say, congratulations!! Its so refreshing to hear unadulterated happiness. Soak it up. Also, I have to say I hardly remember anything abt the "stuff" that was at my wedding. Just the way it felt. So good for you. Although, maybe weddings are like funerals in the sense that they're more for the family. I've always said the morning after our wedding was my favorite part of my wedding bc it was the first day of our new life together. Good luck either way :)

  5. I love the way you have with words... even when you're venting. :) I was lucky to have a mom who did A LOT for me. I gave myself veto power and let her go for it. I had to reign her in a couple of times, but it was so nice to not have to care about the stuff I DON'T CARE ABOUT. :)

  6. The one thing I remember about the planning process of my wedding was the realization that it wasn't for me, and I didn't get to make the decisions. It was for our families and the people paying for it got the make the decisions. After it was all said and done? Didn't matter.