Saturday, December 5, 2009

Medicated Powder

I went to visit my older sister not too long ago. Usually when I travel I have all of my mini-toiletries together in a one gallon Ziploc bag (thank you various terrorists for downsizing my luggage--it's now much easier to manage, and has reduced my number of spills). But when I go to my sister's I take advantage of the hospitality borrowing toothpaste, shampoo, Q-tips, etc, etc.

As I stepped from the shower and commenced my preparations for getting ready I began looking for some Baby Powder (to be fair, I use the variety of cornstarch, not as fine and a little more sticktoitiveness). Now, for those of you who do not have thighs that rub together, or a decolletage that sags together as mine so unfortunately does (my sincerest and most heartfelt apologies if you do) you will likely not understand the necessity of such a thing. Let's just say it helps everything to keep moving smoothly and reduces sticky friction when moving about.

Well the only bottle I could find was of an orange variety which read "Medicated Powder." I opened the top, shook some into my hand, from my basic analysis it appeared to be what I was looking for, though it had that hint of Menthol scent to it. I thought it was kind of minty and fresh. Routinely I fluffed and patted the requisite areas and moved on with my get-ready routine.

I was waiting for the rest of the women to ready themselves for departure when I felt the beginning of a strange, cool sensation. At first I thought it was just cold, then I realised the only place I felt cold was between my legs. Had I unwittingly peed my pants? I looked down. No telling dark spot. Again the sensation swept over my nether regions. What was happening to me? I kept feeling these cooling bursts, so cool they were almost burning and uncomfortable. Truly, what had happened to me in the last hour to cause this?

Without warning or cause it dawned on me. Medicated powder. Menthol. Ah. The mystery was solved, but there remained the question of what to do. Should I strip my clothes from the waist down and try to rinse it off? If I tried wiping would it get spread to other areas? This lead to imagining further reaching sensations. It stopped me cold. No, no. I would leave it and pray that as the day wore on the sensations would subside.

From now on when I go to my sister's I still don't bring my own powder, I'll just remember to raid the baby's room where the mild stuff is kept.

1 comment:

  1. Oh. My. Goodness. I am at work right now, and laughing out loud.